Protecting Wonder in a Busy World

A Therapist’s Perspective on Slowing Down Enough to Notice What Is Already Around Us

Busy lives can make us overlook the small moments of beauty happening around us. Learn how cultivating wonder, awe, and curiosity can help you become more present and bring greater richness to everyday life.

When Did We Stop Noticing?

Children have an incredible ability to notice things adults often walk right past. They notice a butterfly resting on a flower, an unusual cloud, a tiny lizard on the sidewalk, the moon appearing during the daytime, or a rainbow beginning to form after a storm. Not only do they notice these things, but they often stop what they're doing and call someone else over to see them too.

As adults, we may walk past the exact same things while thinking about an email we need to answer, what we're making for dinner, where we need to be next, or something that happened earlier in the day. The beautiful thing is still there; we have simply become less likely to notice it. As our lives become busier, our attention naturally shifts toward tasks, responsibilities, problems, and whatever needs to happen next.

There is nothing inherently wrong with being productive or focused. The problem arises when we become so efficient at moving through our days that we stop actually experiencing them.

Wonder Is Not Just for Children

Wonder is the experience of encountering something that captures our attention and makes us pause. It might come from something extraordinary, but often it comes from experiences that are remarkably ordinary. Looking at the stars, watching the ocean, hearing a beautiful piece of music, noticing flowers beginning to bloom, watching an animal in nature, or seeing the sky change colors at sunset can all create moments of wonder.

These experiences can briefly interrupt the constant internal dialogue many of us carry throughout the day. Instead of thinking about yesterday or preparing for tomorrow, our attention becomes absorbed in what is happening right now. We are not solving a problem or accomplishing a task. We are simply experiencing something.

That is part of what makes wonder so valuable for our emotional well-being. It gives us another pathway back to the present moment.

Maybe We Don't Need More Beauty—Maybe We Need to Notice More of It

Sometimes we assume life needs to become more exciting before it can become more enjoyable. We imagine that we need a vacation, a beautiful destination, a new experience, or something extraordinary to break us out of our routines. Those experiences can certainly be wonderful, and as we've discussed in previous weeks, having things to look forward to can be an important source of joy.

But if we only look for beauty in extraordinary places, we can miss an enormous amount of it in ordinary life. There may already be something beautiful outside your window. There may be music you love that you haven't really listened to in months. There may be a tree you pass every morning that is changing with the season, or someone in your home whose laugh you've heard thousands of times but rarely stop to appreciate.

Sometimes Living Well on Purpose isn't about adding something new to our lives. Sometimes it is about paying closer attention to what is already here.

Let Your Senses Bring You Back

Our senses provide one of the simplest ways to reconnect with wonder because they anchor us in the experience we are actually having. When you're outside, instead of immediately reaching for your phone, notice the temperature of the air against your skin. Listen for birds, wind, water, or distant sounds. Pay attention to the colors around you or notice the smell of rain, flowers, saltwater, grass, or whatever happens to be present.

The same practice can happen indoors. You might notice the smell of coffee brewing in the morning, the warmth of sunlight coming through a window, the sound of a favorite song, the softness of your pet's fur, or the taste of something you genuinely enjoy. These experiences are happening all the time, but when our minds are occupied elsewhere, we can move through them without really registering them.

You don't need to turn every experience into a mindfulness exercise. You simply need to occasionally notice that you're having it.

Nature Makes Wonder Easier to Find

Nature has a way of reminding us that the world is much larger than whatever is occupying our minds at the moment. Watching waves reach the shore, looking at the stars, walking beneath trees, noticing birds, tending to plants, or watching clouds move across the sky can naturally create a pause from the mental noise we carry throughout the day.

You also don't need to travel somewhere spectacular to experience this. Wonder can happen in your backyard, during a walk around your neighborhood, at a local park, or while sitting outside for ten minutes after dinner. Even noticing a small change in the weather or a plant beginning to bloom can bring our attention into the present.

Sometimes going outside doesn't need to be about exercise, steps, or accomplishing anything. Sometimes the purpose can simply be to look around.

Protect Your Capacity to Be Impressed

There is something valuable about allowing ourselves to remain impressed by life. As adults, we can become accustomed to things that once would have fascinated us. We may begin to dismiss experiences because we've seen them before or because they seem too ordinary to deserve our attention.

But we don't have to become too grown-up to get excited about a beautiful sunset, an unexpected rainbow, a song that moves us, dolphins appearing in the water, fireflies at night, discovering a new place, or laughing at something completely ridiculous. Remaining capable of delight is not childish or naïve. It is a way of remaining connected to our own capacity for joy.

Give yourself permission to say, “Wow, look at that.” Better yet, call someone you love over to see it too.

Borrow a Child's Perspective

If you spend time with children, pay attention to what captures their attention. Children can be wonderful guides to wonder because they haven't yet learned to dismiss ordinary things as ordinary. A bug, an unusual rock, a squirrel outside the window, or a question about why the moon seems to follow the car can become completely fascinating.

As adults, our instinct is often to move children along because we have somewhere to be. Sometimes that's necessary. But occasionally, we can choose to stop with them. We can look at the bug, examine the rock, watch the squirrel, or spend a few minutes looking at the moon.

We don't always need to teach children how to be present. Sometimes they can remind us how.

For Parents and Families

One of the meaningful things we can do as parents is protect our children's natural curiosity while allowing it to reawaken our own. We can take walks without making the destination the most important part, stop to look at something interesting, watch sunsets together, look for shapes in the clouds, grow something, explore somewhere new, or simply allow children enough unstructured time to discover what captures their attention.

These experiences do more than create memories. They teach children that the world is interesting and worth noticing. They also give families opportunities to connect through shared experiences that don't require screens, elaborate plans, or expensive activities.

This idea is deeply connected to my upcoming Chloe the Therapy Dog children's book series, where everyday experiences, animals, nature, curiosity, and emotional awareness help children learn to understand themselves and engage more fully with the world around them.

For Fellow Clinicians

Clinical work requires us to spend significant amounts of time focused on pain, stress, conflict, trauma, and the complexity of human experience. That work is meaningful, but spending so much of our professional lives attending to difficulty can also influence where our own attention naturally goes.

Maintaining our capacity for curiosity, beauty, humor, and wonder can help create emotional balance. A clinician who spends the day witnessing difficult human experiences also needs opportunities to witness what is beautiful, interesting, funny, peaceful, and hopeful in their own life.

Through my upcoming clinician consultation services, I hope to support clinicians not only in developing sustainable practices and navigating challenging cases, but also in protecting the parts of themselves that exist beyond their professional roles.

This Week's Living Well Challenge

Choose one ordinary moment each day this week and really notice it. It might be the sky on your drive home, the first sip of your morning coffee, the sound of your child's laughter, your dog greeting you at the door, a favorite song, a flower blooming, or the feeling of the evening air.

You don't need to photograph it or post it. You don't need to turn it into anything productive or preserve it for later. The challenge is simply to allow yourself to fully experience it while it is happening.

A Reflection

Ask yourself: What have I become so accustomed to that I no longer really notice it? Then consider what might happen if you approached something familiar as though you were experiencing it for the first time.

Maybe it is a person you love, your neighborhood, your morning routine, a view you see every day, or even your own home. Sometimes what feels ordinary is only ordinary because we've stopped paying close attention to it.

Closing

There will always be reasons to hurry. There will always be another task, another notification, another place to go, and another problem asking for our attention. At the same time, while all of those things are happening, life is happening too. The sun is setting, someone you love is laughing, the seasons are changing, music is playing, flowers are blooming, and the people around you are growing and changing.

Some of the ordinary moments happening today will someday become memories. We don't need to capture every one of them, document them, or somehow make them last forever. We simply need to be present for some of them while they are here.

Perhaps Living Well on Purpose isn't only about creating a better life. Sometimes it is about slowing down long enough to recognize how much life is already happening all around us.

Cristina Mantilla, LMHC